Sue Scheff - Communication with your Teen Daughter

The Importance of Communication

While communication between your daughter and yourself can be a large key to preventing pregnancy, it is an even more important part of working through a pregnancy. Discovering your daughter is pregnant may feel like the worst possible thing that could happen. Your emotions may be paralyzing - you may be unsure of how to accept the situation or how to address it.

The first thing you must remember that all of the feelings you have are multiplied by ten for your daughter. She is angry and afraid and unable to solve her problems on her own.

While you may be angry and disappointed in her choices, be sure that she knows she is not alone. What is done is done - there is no use in resenting what has happened. Together, accept that the situation must be dealt with quickly.

Discuss the situation. Does she know how long she has been pregnant? If not, when was her last period? Has she taken a pregnancy test? With these initial answers, make a doctors appointment as soon as possible. These questions may be hard for her to answer, and may upset her further. Make sure that you don't push her to answer you. Making her comfortable will make her more inclined to share.

You will need to also address the situation regarding the baby's father. Has he been told? His parents? Do what you can to get a honest answer about her relationship with him. His role is important as well, considering he is the baby's father.

The initial conversations between you and your daughter will set the tone for the rest of her pregnancy. Regardless of her decisions, she will need you ever step of the way. Opening the communication lines right away and keeping them strong will give your daughter the support she needs to make it through her pregnancy.

www.helpyourteens.com

Sue Scheff: ADHD Teens and Puberty

By ADDitude Magazine www.additudemag.com

What parents of ADHD boys should watch for as their sons pass through adolescence.

Until he was 10 or 11, Robert was cheerful and lively, if sometimes distractible and hyper. Then came 12 and 13. “He alternates between couch potato and monster,” says his mother, Anne. “What happened to my sweet little boy?”

What happened were puberty (physical changes) and adolescence (psychological and social changes), which occur when children begin maturing into adults. Some kids begin to “act” like adolescents before puberty; others may not accept the role of adolescent until long after puberty. Whenever they happen, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

Fortunately, boys with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) don’t seem to have more difficulty coping with puberty than others. However, their particular problems and stresses may differ somewhat. Here are some issues to consider.

Refusing medicine
“Raging hormones” can cause intense physical and psychological changes. Teens often find body changes distressing and desperately want to fit in. That’s why many kids who cooperatively took medication in elementary school begin to protest and rebel in their teens; they don’t want to be singled out by going to the school office or health room.

Try to understand and help. If you can find an appropriate medication in a long-acting formulation, your child won’t have to take medicine in school. You can even allow a short trial off medication which may help your teen understand the need to continue taking it. Before discontinuing medication, consult with your family doctor or a mental health professional.

Peer pressure
All children need to feel accepted by their peer group. If the years of having ADHD (and possibly a learning disability) have resulted in poor social skills and limited success with friends, early adolescence may be painful.

The danger for some kids is that they may seek out any peer group that accepts them. Socially rejected ADHD boys frequently latch on to other “misfits” who do not do well in school or sports. The combination of a misfit peer group, the need to be accepted, and low self-esteem places ADHD teens at great risk of alcohol and drug use. Get educated and if you suspect these problems, get help.

Lack of supervision
Experimentation with alcohol, drugs, and sex doesn’t take place on weekend nights. The riskiest hours are between 3 and 6 P.M. on school days. Kids are often unsupervised because both parents work. They frequently visit friends’ houses with no adult present.

Be proactive. If you can’t supervise your teens after school, make sure they’re involved in sports, arts, community service or other activities that are supervised by adults. Keep tabs on where they are and what they’re doing at all times.

Comorbid disorders
People with ADHD are at increased risk of comorbid disorders (two or more conditions that occur at the same time). Depression and anxiety disorders often first show up between the ages of 8 and 12, and again in early adolescence. Watch your child for symptoms, and seek help if you think there’s a problem.

Also watch for signs of Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, which are marked by antisocial, hostile, and unusually oppositional behavior. These disorders frequently place impulsive ADHD boys in dangerous, even criminal situations. Intervention is imperative.

Medication changes
Most boys on medication for ADHD do not need to change medication as they enter puberty. Even significant weight increases may not warrant an increased dose. If the dose used earlier in life still works, don’t change it.

The good news is that about half of ADHD kids improve significantly after puberty. Many no longer need medication. The rest will probably need medication through adolescence and possibly into adulthood.

On balance, most ADHD boys pass through adolescence with no more difficulty than others. Becoming a couch potato is not a disorder. However, seek professional advise if your son seems unusually sad, withdrawn, angry, or anxious. Don’t wait for a problem to escalate into a crisis. Even if your concerns are unfounded, it’s better to discuss them with a mental health professional than to wish you had acted sooner.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Huffing and Inhalant Abuse

Monitoring your child will make your child much less likely to use Inhalants or other drugs.


· Know where your child is at all times, especially after school
· Know your child's friends
· If you find your child unconscious, or you suspect your child is under the influence of an Inhalant, call 911 immediately.

If you suspect your child might be abusing Inhalants, call the Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222; or call the '1-800' number on the label of the product.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, "if you talk to your kids about the risks of drugs, they are 36% less likely to abuse an Inhalant." Parents can make a tremendous impact on their kids' choices by talking to them.

Visit www.inhalant.org

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone

Seven expert strategies to help single parents raise confident, successful children with ADHD.

Click Here for Entire Article.

ADDitude Magazine offers great information for parents and adults of ADD/ADHD. As a single parent with an ADHD child, this article offers a lot of insight.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Myths of Military Schools

The myths that Military Schools and Academies are Boot Camp environments is widely mistaken by many parents. Military Schools are a privilege and honor to attend - your child has to be accepted in a Military School usually based on their GPA, references and personal interview.

WE NEVER RECOMMEND BOOT CAMPS:

Boot Camps for Troubled TeensBoot Camps for GirlsBoot Camps for BoysBoot Camps
We (Parents' Universal Resource Experts) never promote, refer or recommend anyone to Boot Camps.We believe in building our teens back up, not breaking them down. Many teens are suffering with low self esteem, which can lead to negative behavior. When you take a negative child and place them into a potentially punitive environment, such as a Boot Camp, you can risk your child returning with more anger and resentment. This anger is usually targeted at the person that placed them there – the parent.

We believe in finding healthy, positive, nurturing and safe environments to promote your teen's self confidence, to make better choices and determine where the negative behavior is stemming from. With this emotional growth, your teen and your family can start healing towards a happy and healthy home life.

As a parent it is our responsibility to find a school or program that will instill positive values and help your teen through the difficult times they were having at home and/or school. It is time to bring your family back together.

Contact us for more information and start getting your teenager the positive help they may need.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Discipline Do’s: Creating Limits for ADHD Children

5 ways for parents of ADHD children to establish a reliable structure and solid limits.

Your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) is loving, intelligent, cute, creative — and often wants his own way. He has the talk and charm to out-debate you, and will negotiate until the 59th minute of the 23rd hour. Like salesmen who won’t take no for an answer, he can wear you down until you give in to his wishes.

Click here for complete article.

Sue Scheff on The Rachael Ray Show - Hot Topic - Cyber Slander

Sue Scheff continues to be a voice against CyberSlander. As both a victim and survivor of Internet Defamation, she has become a leader in promoting Cyber Safety.

On April 17th Sue Scheff appeared on the Rachael Ray Show talking about Cyber Slander and promoting her upcoming new book - Wit’s End!

Free Speech will never condone defamation. In an unprecedented jury verdict for damages, Scheff was awarded over $11Mfor the malicious and defamatory online comments from a woman that wanted E-Venge.

For more articles on E-Venge - check out http://www.suescheffpodcasts.com/. Sue Scheff retained the priceless services of Reputation Defender.

If you are a victim of Internet Abuse, take a moment to review the services Reputation Defender has to offer.

If you are a parent, it is important to consider Reputation Defender MyChild to help protect your child online.

Sue Scheff on The Rachael Ray Show - Hot Topic - Cyber Slander

Sue Scheff continues to be a voice against CyberSlander. As both a victim and survivor of Internet Defamation, she has become a leader in promoting Cyber Safety.

On April 17th Sue Scheff appeared on the Rachael Ray Show talking about Cyber Slander and promoting her upcoming new book - Wit’s End!

Free Speech will never condone defamation. In an unprecedented jury verdict for damages, Scheff was awarded over $11Mfor the malicious and defamatory online comments from a woman that wanted E-Venge.

For more articles on E-Venge - check out www.suescheffpodcasts.com. Sue Scheff retained the priceless services of Reputation Defender. If you are a victim of Internet Abuse, take a moment to review the services Reputation Defender has to offer.

If you are a parent, it is important to consider Reputation Defender MyChild to help protect your child online.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Family Dinners and Eating Disorders

By Connect with Kids

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens.”

– Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist

The average American woman is 5’ 4” and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’ 11” and weights 117 pounds. For millions of girls, that difference translates into dangerous eating disorders and extreme diets. What can parents do to help protect their daughters?

Sometimes starvation diets, binging and purging, or overuse of diet pills are used to correct a flaw no one else can see.

“I just see myself as really fat and gross,” says Lauren, 16.

‘I started buying fitness magazines and they all said to diet. I just couldn’t see reality. I saw fat where there wasn’t any,” says Maggie, 17.

‘I think I’m really fat right now, and that’s why I want to lose weight,” says Shelby, 18.

A new study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine reports a positive way to reduce the risk of an eating disorder: having regularly-scheduled family dinners.

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens,” says Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

In fact, the study found that teen girls who regularly had dinner with their family were 30 percent less likely to go on extreme diets or develop an eating disorder. Why? For one thing, experts say parents who sit and eat a healthy meal with their kids are good role models.

“Studies show time and time again that children model parents’ behavior with food,” says Rachel Brandeis, American Dietetic Association.

But experts also say that eating disorders are emotional disorders, and a family meal is a chance for kids to be with those who love them the most. That can help counteract what causes eating disorders in the first place.

“You’re having time with the family, you’re showing your commitment to your kids, you are tailoring your day around your kids, you’re having them tailor their day around that important time, and you’re having open communication,” says McGarrah.

Tips for Parents

Shared family meals are more likely to be nutritious, and kids who eat regularly with their families are less likely to snack on unhealthy foods and more likely to eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains. (Nemours Foundation)

Teens who take part in regular family meals are less likely to smoke, drink alcohol or use marijuana and other drugs, and are more likely to have healthier diets as adults. (Nemours Foundation)

Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can range from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA)

The importance of regular family activities to share ideas and find out “what’s happening” is a great way for a parent to be involved, discuss rules, monitor activities and friends, and be a good role model. (SAMHSA)

The benefits of eating together will last long after your meal ends, especially if you make family mealtimes a regular activity. (SAMHSA)

References
Nemours Foundation
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Parents Universal Resource Expert (Sue Scheff) Breakfast Can Reduce Obesity

By Connect with Kids

“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever.”

– Yvonne, mother

It’s an old adage: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And yet, an estimated 25 percent of children regularly skip it. Now, there is new research showing that eating at the beginning of the day saves calories the rest of the day.

“Do you have everything you need for school?” asks Yvonne, mother.

In lots of families, mornings are chaotic. Share the bathroom, get the kids dressed, pack up the book bag -- which often leaves no time for breakfast. But not at the Gonzalez home.

“You just want one egg each, or you want two?” asks Yvonne.

“It gets you up and running, and has lots of nutrition in it,” says Victoria, 9.

“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever,” says Yvonne.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied more than 2,000 teens for five years. They found that teens who eat breakfast on a regular basis weigh less and eat a healthier diet than kids who don’t eat breakfast. Experts say skipping that first meal makes you hungrier later in the day.

“And when we finally eat, we are ravenous and we are craving. And now we want a quick fix. And we want sugar and we want carbs and we want fat, and that’s what we eat,” says Dr. Ranveig Elvebakk, bariatric physician.

And that, says the doctor, forces the body to produce more insulin.

“This insulin brings the blood sugar into the cell, and what does the cell say? It says ‘I cannot possibly deal with all this sugar; I need to transform it and store it somewhere.’ Then you slowly plump up,” says Elvebakk.

One solution, experts say, is not skipping breakfast, and instead, having something substantial such as eggs or toast or cereal.

“You ate it all? Oh my goodness!” says Mom

Tips for Parents

Children who eat breakfast tend to have more adequate nutrient intake than children who do not.
By eating breakfast, students also get more of the important nutrients, vitamins and minerals such as calcium, dietary fiber, folate and protein. (Food Research and Action Center)

A higher percentage of children who skip breakfast do not meet two-thirds of the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for vitamins A, E, D, and B. (Food Research and Action Center)

Adolescents who eat breakfast tend to have a lower body mass index (BMI). Higher BMIs can indicate overweight and obesity. Girls who eat breakfast are more likely to have a lower BMI than girls who skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)

Adolescents with one or two obese parents who eat breakfast every day are more likely to have BMIs within a healthy range than those who tend to skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)

Try to serve a balanced breakfast that includes some carbohydrates, protein and fiber. Good sources of these nutrients include: (Nemours Foundation)

Carbohydrates: whole-grain cereals, brown rice, whole-grain breads and muffins, fruits, vegetables

Protein: low-fat or nonfat dairy products, lean meats, eggs, nuts (including nut butters), seeds, and cooked dried beans

Fiber: whole-grain breads, waffles, and cereals; brown rice, bran, and other grains; fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts

References

Food Research and Action Center
Nemours Foundation

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Children and Safe Net Use

April 2, 2008


Many teenagers and younger children are signing up for social networking sites says telecoms regulator Ofcom in a report.

In a research exercise covering 3,000 children it found that about a quarter of those aged between eight and 11 have a profile page on sites such as MySpace, Facebook and Bebo.

This is despite the fact that these sites have a self-imposed minimum age limit of 13 or 14.

The news comes soon after the release of the Byron Review which investigated the risks children faced from exposure to harmful or inappropriate material on the internet or in video games.

At the same time the Home Office is preparing to issue recommendations on the steps social network sites should take to make themselves safer for children.

BBC News looks at the issue and what parents can do to keep up with their children and ensure they stay safe online.

What has Ofcom found?

The telecoms regulator carried out an in-depth study of how people, both young and old, use social network sites.

On these sites, which includes destinations such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo, users maintain a webpage or profile about what they are up to. This can include blog or journal entries, pictures, videos and other information about their daily lives.


CEOP online safety tips for parents
Know what your children are doing online
Get them to show you how to do things
Help them understand not to give any personal information to online friends
Teach them to ignore spam
Teach them to ignore files sent by people they don't know
Teach them some people lie online
Tell them to keep online friends online
Keep talking so they know they can always tell you if something makes them feel uncomfortable
Show children how to block people online and how to report them

Most allow users to invite people they know to join the site and become part of an online group of friends.

In recent months social network sites have become enormously popular MySpace, for instance, has many millions of dedicated users.

Ofcom talked to 5,000 adults and 3,000 children and found 49% of those aged between eight and 17 have a profile on these sites. As noted above many children with profiles are below the minimum age set, but not actively enforced, by the sites themselves.

Perhaps worryingly for parents 41% of the children Ofcom questioned has their profile set so anyone, rather than just friends could view it.

At the same time the Byron Review warned of a growing "digital divide" between parents and their net-savvy children.

Why is this a problem?

The combination of children sharing sensitive data with anyone who cares to look and parents who do not monitor what their offspring do online could be a recipe for disaster.


CEOP online safety tips for children
Don't give your real name on gaming sites
Best not to have anyone on your IM (instant messaging) list that you don't know in the real world
You can block people in IM and chat areas
Best not to meet people you meet online, they might not be who they say they are
Tell an adult you trust if an online friend asks to meet you
Report a contact to CEOP if you think they might be an adult

Many children have received unwanted approaches from paedophiles while using the net. Figures quoted in the Byron Review suggest that 31% of 9-19 year olds who use the net weekly have received sexual comments via e-mail, instant message, chat or text message.

Research by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection centre (CEOP) suggests that chat rooms and instant messages are the preferred route for such contact but social networking sites are becoming popular too.

These dangers should not be exaggerated. It is still the case that very few abusers of children are strangers to their victims.

Are there other risks?

Publishing sensitive and personal information could leave people and families open to fraud and identity theft.

Unsupervised children might also open messages which harbour viruses or visit booby-trapped sites that infect PCs with spyware.

Children could also be at risk from so called "cyber bullying" in which online sites are used to mock them or they are bombarded with nasty messages.

What is being done to tackle this?

Many websites, not just social network sites, discourage children from registering but the restrictions are often easy to circumvent.

Few sites actively police these age limits though many will remove content if it breaches their codes of conduct.

Some places, such as MSN Messenger, also feature an icon via which children can report when they see or suffer inappropriate sexual contact.

On 4 April the Home Office is due to publish its guidelines for social network sites and what they can do to make using them safer. Currently there are no laws governing how children can set up profiles on social sites.

The government has also been behind many campaigns that aim to educate children about the dangers of using the net. Europe also runs the Safer Internet Day campaign which targets schools and runs events to get children thinking about ways to stay safe online.

Other places to look include ThinkUKnow, Get Safe Online and the Internet Safety Zone. Many publish easy to understand advice guides that help explain the risks and actions that can be taken.

What can parents do to help?

A lot. Every report on net safety stresses that parents have a huge role to play in monitoring their children and educating them about responsible web use.

One of the best ways to keep an eye on what a child does online is to site home computers in family areas rather than in their own bedroom. Children are far less likely to indulge in risky behaviour if they know others can see what they are doing.

Many organisations recommend that parents get much more involved in what their children do online. One good tip is to get a child to explain what they are doing and teach their parents at the same time.

Parents should also impress on children that they should ignore spam, be suspicious of anyone sending attachments via e-mail and warn them that many people lie online and may not be who they claim to be.

Technical measures, such as filters and security software, can help but none are 100% effective. Parental involvement and monitoring are just as important.

Finally, parents also need to realise that even though children have a greater understanding of the risks that does not mean they stop taking risks.